Wednesday, August 6, 2008


I need to take a break from whatever I'm doing at the moment. I know I shouldn't "quack" or complain but I've tried my very best to stay positive... but all these power to stay positive is really using up all my energy...or what is left of my energy

I'm starting to doubt my ability to cope with stress. I don't think I've ever been good at it. I've just tried my best to stay strong because of my passion in what I'm doing, however, passion is another thing....being able to survive until end of the month is another. People always telling me that I should balance work life with my personal life,but frankly, I don't think I have a personal life anymore since I started working here. I've had to pushed away invitations to parties and outings, reason being too busy or too tired after being busy at work. Life is truly getting meaningless to me. Everyday after work, I'll be too exhausted to even speak or hang out with my family. I know I've got the power to choose what I want in life, but when there are commitments & responsibilities, it'll never be easy.

Sigh. Everyone who knows me before, commented on how horrible I look now. My once crystal clear & radiant skin has now turned to dull, tired & breaking-out skin. My once energetic & happy-go-lucky character has now become tired-quacking-zombie Life shouldn't be like this. What can I do to change it? How?

I know the Law of Attraction works. But, it's not working anymore for me. I don't even have the time to look at myself in the mirror, I cannot even afford to be sick!! There is just no room for it. Life shouldn't be like this. Life shouldn't be so sad. Where is the simple life that I always wanted? I wonder if I can just give up everything I have here and go away to live the life of my dreams?........Wishing is never good enough.....What if I don't live to see tomorrow? Will I regret that I've never made the decision to live a happy and fulfilling life? Regret that I did not do the things that I've always wanted to do? Regret saying things I should have said to that someone?

To enjoy the freedom of life.....the freedom to love....the freedom to care for the people I love.....the freedom of choice?