Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I'm numb

No emotion
No pain
No happiness
No shame

Is this depression, I don't know
An evil monster in my shadow
Changing me into someone
I have never seen

Everythings a daze
Each day’s a dream
I can’t run away
It’s impossible to scream

I’m trapped
In someone I don’t even know
Too lost to find myself
Too afraid to show

I could end it all,
Make the drama stop
But to start it all over again?
I don't know how

I’m too afraid of the unknown
What’s on the other side?
Is it worth finding out?
What happens if a part of you died?

So I stay
The numbness appears
There are no emotions
There are no feelings

It’s a world of blank
No pain, No happiness
No real laughter
Am I going insane?

What’s the point anymore?
I’ve got nothing left to give
I can’t stay on like this,
Life is meant to be lived

I promise to try,
I guess I don’t want to die alive,
I know I can do this
I told myself with a sigh

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A little story about forgotten love

No matter how many times I read this story, I will experience the same sadness and heartache. This is truly a touching story that teaches all of us to appreciate precious moments with our soulmate. Read on...

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.

Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your soulmate's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy life with your soulmate!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Perfection in the imperfect world

Everyone have expectations. Most of these people have the expectation to be perfect. Perfection is seen as ideal to the world. The truth is; why is everyone chasing perfection when life is known to be imperfect?

Every product in the market favors marketing and branding because these are the tools to portray perfection to the targeted audience. 

1. The image of the product has to be perfect; with the use of technology, any imperfections can be altered.

2. The positioning of the product has to be perfectly right; with the use of the right marketing strategy and tools, it will target the perfect audience. 

3. The awareness of the product has to be perfectly in lined with the launching date; the PR people have to brush with the right channels and of course, the right people too.

The generation of branding; the building block of all brands

So now the product is perfectly launched to the market and people are buying. Analysis will be carried out to monitor the imperfections and areas for improvements. Sales are being compared to competition. Every single product in the market is aiming to rise above competition in ranking and sales. Nothing is perfect yet until it is sitting comfortably at the number one spot in ranking and hitting sales target after target. Ideally, in these situations, it is already perfect.

But what more can be super-perfect when you are already perfect? 

Don't forget that thousands and millions of new products are being launched all over the world and people are learning from one another to do just another great launch and branding. 

Competitions are never ending, thus the fight to stay on the top spot is never easy. Everyone is trapped in the same never ending cycle.

Being #1 FOREVER

Ideally, it helps to stay as an optimist and try as hard as possible to remain enthusiastic and hope to be able to continue working for perfection. However, chasing a never ending cycle is never easy. In this case, the chase includes expectations to always stay above competition is even harder.
So, the question would be “Are you game for the chase of perfection?”

The product above could be anything; including people, fashion, technology, entertainment, etc

Paris Hilton is the perfect example of branding; the rich gal who earns her fame through self-branding

so when is your turn?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Taiwan Taiwan Taiwan - the 2nd night

There were so many things to do yet so little time to do all! Every single day rushed by without a minute to breath... and this is how I feel throughout the whole week in Taipei. Here is my 2nd evening at another night market in Taipei.

This is Raohe Night Market; although the size and quality of this night market is very different from Shilin Night Market but here... the food is delicious!! This is the place where you can forget your tourist identity and just blend into the crowd of the locals... and experience their lifestyle...

We didn't know how to order at first but there were a few patrons at this stall with the same dish... so we pointed to theirs *wink* I guess this way your food will never go wrong! Haha!

The noodles were delicious indeed! Soupy and with lots of preserved vegetables and meat... We also ordered the stinky tofu again... this time I got the name right because there were a sign showing "Stinky tofu available"... See... I even learn how to speak mandarin throughout the process of food ordering!

Aaahhh... the crabs were delicious!!
We paid about NT100 (about RM11) for 3 whole crabs!
There were also fried balitong and escargots... but I'm more a crab person...

More food....

We saw so many people heading to this stall, so we decided this must be their local favourites! It's kinda like our local Bak Kut Teh but without the rice... the meat is so tender and soup is herbal.
Hmmm... yum yum~

Snow Mountain will never be the same for me after tasting this! The mango is so fresh and the portion is soooo huge! Both of us couldn't even finish the mango... and we only paid RM8 for this huge plate of Mango Snow Mountain! Definitely worth paying... I don't even get half the potion here in Malaysia with the same price :P

Of course not forgetting the local bubble tea! This is a special blend of Mango with milk... I just can't get enough of their bubble teas... yummm~

One thing I noticed is their dogs are so pampered and cute!!
Throughout the long street of endless stalls with food, drinks, fashion and etc... their dogs guarded their owner with pride!

This one is sooo cute!

And this huge doggy... I love her! She is so tame and good mannered eventhough I was disturbing her dinner time clicking away with my camera... She even took the time to smile into my camera... so sweeeet~ 

Of course, how can we forget the shopping!! It's so cheap... price starting from RM10 to RM50... have your pick of the latest fashion with the lowest price...

That's all for the night market adventure... However, do stay around for I have more stories to tell! Next in line will be my adventure with Taiwan's famous Spicy Hot Pot (in cantonese will be = Ma Lat Fo Woh) and how I caught my limited edition of Hello Kitty MP3 player... which is now entertaining me with my favourite music!! *wink*