Monday, March 29, 2010

It's time for isolation

When hopes are down, the only way to find comfort is to isolate myself from the world.

Today, I was enlightened by the word "Attachment". I found many definition of this word and the only definition that relate to my troubled situation is these...

Suffering is caused by Attachment - Suffering arises because everything changes, everything is impermanent. Everything is in process, all the time. Whenever we hope to find any lasting happiness by means of something that is changing, suffering results. This means that nothing in the realm of ordinary human experience can provide lasting happiness, and trying to force things to stand still and make us happy is itself the main source of misery.

It's time again for me to be there for myself again and to realize that there are some unresolved issue that needs to be taken care of. Nobody but myself is able to do this... because the unresolved issue is within myself... To understand myself is to understand those who cares.

Don't be alarmed to find me missing-in-action...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Life and Death

It is hard to say what's on my mind these days. Especially today...

Woke up at 6am this morning to prepare for QingMing Festival.

The Qingming Festival is an opportunity for celebrants to remember and honour their ancestors at grave sites. Young and old pray before the ancestors, sweep the tombs and offer food, tea, wine, chopsticks, joss paper accessories, and/or libation to the ancestors.

As I reached the my dad's grave, it was still a little impossible to digest the fact that he has died. He left us a little more than one and a half years ago. The day he left was the day I realized just how precious yet fragile life could be.

It was also then that I learn how to appreciate life and the importance of living a life of passion.

It was also then... that my daddy's little girl grew up...

Looking at his colourless photo on his tombstone... it's so upsetting to swallow the truth that my daddy is just going to be the photos and memories he left behind. As I gaze the surrounding area, the realization that death happens everyday hit me... People are dying...

I wonder if there is life after death?

Browsing through the physic section of the bookstore at one of our local malls this evening, I found a few selection of books on Life After Death. However, non of these books seems real and as I read on, the content sounds a little illogical even. I sat in the bookstore reading for two hours but found no answers to the above question.

It is a little depressing pondering on the topic of death, however, realizing death exists everyday makes me appreciate life even more. I am just so glad that I am breathing and able to wake up everyday to the bright sunshine.

Life is meant to be lived. Lived with passion and wonderful dreams. Most importantly, with people who cares and love me. I am so lucky indeed!

With every newborn, a life begins... It is a indeed a miracle gift of life!

Be thankful for each day you are able to wake up and smell the roses. Appreciate life and be grateful for every breathe you take.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Another Friday without him...

Another Friday has gone by without our usual "Friday-date".

Bubbles and I have made it compulsory for Friday to be our date-night. As we would plan where we would go on each Friday carefully to ensure both of us could spend quality time together and just enjoy dating each other.

... this is the second Friday that I am spending it alone... without Bubbles...

As he has to work temporary in a land far far away, I am here counting down to the next Friday we would be able to do our usual Friday-date thingy again...

It is undeniably miserable to be physically away from him for such a long time but Bubbles make sure we allocate time each day to talk to each other through Skype. Even though he can be pretty tied up with work, yet he still manages to sneak some time to be with me.

Skype is FUN indeed!

Everyday I look forward to spend a little time catching up with him and especially the part where he tells how much he miss me. Although he doesn't express it very well through words, but I know it's real because I am missing him too much as well. He will also ensure I know that although we're physically apart, but I will always be in his heart and he will always be there for me whenever I needed him.

Despite the fact that counting the days make the progress even unbearable, I can't help it but mentally countdown to the day I will be joining him at the land far far away! I am trying to control myself from packing my bags right away *wink*

Actually... I am almost ready to board the plane!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Are you living in the shadow?

In life, we are always lead to believe what is true and what is false, what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad.

Have you ever ponder what you believe is truly what you believe or is it what others believe?

Do you really understand yourself well enough to know if your beliefs are right, good and true?

Have you ever spoken to yourself and asked deep inside yourself, what you truly believe and want in life?

This might sound complicated to you as most people might not question their own beliefs. We're always being overloaded with information, information that other people created, that somewhere along the road we lost our own way. It is only when we truly knows what we want and need in life that we will stay firmly on the road towards our destination. All other information along way will be challenges and entertainment to ensure the journey is fun and exciting. Only when we reach our destination will we be able to appreciate the effort we put in to succeed.

So, have you wonder if you are on the right road or are you now on other people's road?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

the shape we take on in future...begins today!

You see, it's never the environment; it's never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events - how we interpret them - that shapes who we are today and who we'll become tomorrow.
Anthony Robbins

Had a wonderful evening with my good friend Joanne on Saturday and I am glad we have made the effort to stay in touch despite our busy life. There were numerous occasions where I felt overwhelmed by the need to juggle thousands of responsibilities at the same time. Responsibilities at home and at work.

Most who lived in the city long enough has gotten used to the fast paced and no problem in juggling several tasks in a minute. However, many ended up dealing with depression and anxiety symptoms.

I do believe that we need to set a certain level of limitation and a moderate pace in our everyday life to ensure we live a quality life. What are the best ways to ensure quality is very simple indeed...

1. Spend quality time with good friends
2. Laugh everyday... even at work... smile at people...
3. Spend a few minutes a day just talking and catching up with loved ones...
4. Spontaneously saying "I love you" to your man/woman... never let a day slip by without these 3 words...

I always believe that money is nothing without the people you love to share it with. No matter how much you have in the bank, it means nothing if you are alone at the end of the day.

So what if you are able to afford an expensive house with expensive interior and imported furniture, if at the end of the day you are going home to an empty house and only hearing your own footsteps echoing through the empty huge space?

The objective to work is because at the end of the day, you are able to have sufficient money to provide comfort to your family and loved ones. Think back to the above expensive home but with lots of excited voices welcoming you home and delicious aroma of home-cooked meals waiting to be served.

To me... life will be perfect if surrounded by people who love and cherish me. After all, we're not going to be around forever... material stuffs won't be needed after life ended on earth...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Absence makes thy heart grow fonder

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is probably because lovers spend hours thinking about each other.

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,

Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

Even though you're thousands of miles away
Absence sharpens our love.

Counting the days til you'll be back home again....

Monday, March 15, 2010

Hating good byes

Days passed in a whiff,
A silent wish to halt the scene
of warm hugs and soft kisses
Engulfing me with love and tenderness

Yet, the scenery changed
I am all alone
Yearning for the sweet taste
of your wonderful love
So sweet it nourishes my soul

Good byes ain't easy

Missing you is hard to endure
Parting with a love so strong
Eventhough it is just momentary

You've promised to be back
with a blink of an eye
Days & months will move on by;
My heart will yearn for the day
you'll be by my side...

poem by Joselyn Lee
Dedicated to Bubbles

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Life is a gift and yet it is so fragile

Every morning when you wake up, you are given another day of life.

This gift of life is precious. To say that it's precious is really a colossal understatement. Being alive is more valuable than anything else that one can own and possess. The greater your appreciation for being alive, the more enthusiastic you will be when wake up each morning. We are given this life this moment for a reason. Your life is purposeful.

The above saying is so true. Life is certainly precious to a level where it is fragile even. Can anyone imagine yourself being alive on earth this minute and then gone forever the next minute?

I would say no one would be able to imagine that because it is something we will not be able to know.

I heard the news of a friend's boyfriend who passed away in a car accident just a few days back. The news was shocking not only because of who it happened to. It was mainly because of how it made me feel that life is so fragile and unpredictable.

Even for me who have gone through the horrible experience of losing my daddy? I have learn to accept that life and death comes in a package. Death is just another experience that everyone has to go through to complete life.

Yet, the thought of a person so lively and real could suddenly be lying cold and unmoving is still haunting me. The thought of "being gone too soon" lingers in your mind...

It would be a horrible question to ask myself, however, I have been asking this question over and over again.

What if tomorrow never comes for me?

This question leads to more queries on my purpose in this life.

Am I here on earth to just be another life that will fades into the air when time comes?

Is there more to what I am or can be that I have indirectly and unknowingly denied?

Do I have the courage or given the time to find out?

As we all walk through the challenging path in life, we see people in our life leaving. It is true that nothing is permanent in this world. We hold on to nothing. We possess nothing. In the end, the footprints we marked along the way will fade in time. Only memories will stay on.

Appreciate what you have and value your life. Think of your life’s purpose and do everything you believe will bring you to that direction. Remember, it’s your life and no one else.