Friday, July 18, 2008

Is unfulfilled Promise a White Lie?

Is an unfulfilled promise a white lie?
After reading a message from a friend about when a guy doesn’t fulfill a promise made to his girlfriend, the outcome of it is being punished.


What does the word mean?

It’s a verbal commitment by one person to another agreeing to do (or not to do) something in the future.

I remember when I was with my ex, he made a lot of promises. But most of the time, his promises will soon be forgotten or he thinks it’s not important. I say; if it’s not important that it will be forgotten, then in the first place, why make that promise? So has that promise turned into a white lie, or worst still, it was intended to be a white lie from the start?

Now, let’s see what the dictionary defines lying;

It is to state something one knows is false with the intention that it be taken for the truth by someone else.

White Lie
Causes no discord if it were uncovered and offers some benefit to the liar or the hearer, or both.

I believe in a relationship, white lies are unavoidable. I also believe that most guys will opt to lie or provide empty promises believing that it will not cause any further arguments or unwanted debate with their girlfriend. Lying is truly unavoidable. Lying will be beneficial either to the person who lies or the person who receives it, but usually it is the person who lies that benefits. Beneficial until the balloon burst and the feeling of being betrayed and disappoinment aroused. And the trust somehow gone.

What I do believe is that, trust is truly essential to make a relationship work. If trust is destroyed by numerous innocent white lies or unfulfilled promises, it will be very difficult to build that trust again. Then, how can a relationship work with the presence of doubt? How can a person be truly happy when he/she has to wonder all the time if the other half is telling the truth or making empty promises again?

I know how it feels because I’ve been doing that for many years. Until I cannot stand the emotional torture that I had to tell myself over and over again that it doesn’t matter and start making excuses for him. I’m sure I’m not the only one. A lot of my friends will tell me that there are people or relationships that have gone through worst. I know. I’ve seen. I’ve heard. And I’ve accepted the fact that it is part of the relationship package.

Why all these craps about promises and white lies here?

Well, a few hours ago, I've just had another experience in unfulfilled promises once again by that same person. I guess people never change. I'm not emotional on this issue, but I still cannot get it, why promise when one don't intend to deliver? Sigh.

Sometimes, a simple 'NO' is good enough. No obligations.

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