External existence never last forever

External beauty nor possessions will not last forever.
The beauty of the inner soul will be carried on for generations even after the external existence fades away....

the talk I need... to find some answers...

Something strange happened, I realized I am different. Different in ways that is indefinable. Truly difficult to explain in words.

I feel what others are feeling.

I was watching a concert on TV this evening, when the singer explain her feelings and experiences in life... I felt her pain and her suffering. I understood her. Her life was very miserable as she was forbidden to be herself, to portray a version where her fans would approve of. To be someone but herself. Somewhere somehow, she lost her way in life. She went into depression and stopped working for almost 2 years. With the love and support from her family, she bounced back stronger and spiritually more mature.

Maybe that's why I feel her. I am now at the junction of life where I need to choose which path to continue on my life journey. It is the path where there is no guarantee of what the future may be like. It is the choice that will mold the future.

Do I want to stay where I am now and ignore my passion?

Do I want to ignore my needs?

Do I want to pretend my own perspective doesn't exist and continue living as what others presume is the right choice?

Do I really have a choice to live my own life?

I used to be very confident with my choices. Somehow, somewhere in my life, that confident went missing. I doubt every step I take in life. I am afraid of taking that first step. That first crucial step to my passion.

Afraid = fearful, cowardly, discouraged, terrified, worried, reluctant.... etc

What am I afraid of? Or rather WHO am I afraid of?

There are certainly a lot of questions to ponder; however, I only live once. At the end of my life, it is myself that I need to answer to if I lived an unhappy life, if my life is unfulfilled, if I have not done what I should have done, if I ignored my passion, if I regretted my choices in life... Nobody but myself to blame.

So the important questions to ask myself:

WHAT IF I have only 5 more years to live?
What would I want to do within these 5 years of my life?

I believe.... the answers is deep inside my heart....

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Translation: Gong Xi - Congratulations; Fa Chai - Prosperity

Chinese New Year is all about getting together with families and friends. During childhood, the jolly season would mean getting a lot of red packets *ANG POWS* and playing with fireworks! For some adults, it's the season for challenging their luck in gambling.

I remember when I was about 8 years old; my grandparents would have a small casino at home. After dinner, the casino session will kick off and all family members will gather around to gamble away. For us kids, we will try not to burn our fingers with harmless fire crackers plus lots of sweet drinks and cookies! It is also a must to eat something sweet on the first day of Chinese New Year to symbolize sweetness for the entire year. My grandmother will prepare sweet dessert for the family and few years back, I made "tong shui' for everyone.

Those were the days where everyone will look forward to the Chinese New Year celebration. However, this year seems to be different for me. There were no gambling, no fire crackers, no daddy around... It was certainly the first year we are celebrating it without him.

Our CNY day 1 tradition: We had a small tea session at home where the young will serve tea to the elder and wish them well throughout the year. Most importantly is to get the auspicious red packet which symbolizes luck.

It is always a tradition to wear red during CNY. Red is consider a lucky colour that will ward off bad luck. It is also a basic fundamental need to wear something new on the 1st day of CNY to symbolize wealth and prosperity. Some families will wear all their jewelery to look wealthy.

There are a lot of dos' and don't for the auspicious celebration; for me, the most important of all is to celebrate with simple happiness. There is no amount of new clothes and jewelery that is able to replace the feeling of a complete happy family during the celebration.

When I reflect back to previous Chinese New Year occasions; it is not what I wear or how many red packets I received, nor was it the decorations or the amount of food we had. It was the smile, the laughter, the conversation, the love & happiness we shared as a family that is kept fondly in memory.

This year, we celebrated at my granny's new home with my uncles and aunties. It was truly an amazing session of non-stop talking, non-stop eating, and non-stop dramas from the dogs! My mom was busy cooking delicious dishes for the family and spent quite a lot on food ingredients. As for me, I was trying very hard to stay cool on these extremely warm days and spent most of my time capturing photographs of the celebration.

Here are some happy moments caught on camera!

My 2nd day of CNY: Trying to capture "jumping for joy" moment...


Aaahhh... cup noodles and cold weather... purrrr-fect!


yummy!


Free advertisement of Cup Noodles... Maggie should pay me for this!


Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Happiness is a choice

Since my new year's resolution is to be happy and spread happiness, I have searched for some possible ways to ensure the journey will always be enjoyable. I believe being happy is not only my own goal but the goal of every single person on earth who have gone through unforgettable experiences of disappointment, heartache and all kinds of suffering in life.

Let me share 20 simple ways to achieve it with ease and pleasure:

1. Be who you really are
2. Believe you are worthy of achieving your goals
3. Be thankful for at least 1 thing everyday
4. LOVE EXTENSIVELY and expansively
5. Mistakes happen, learn from them
6. Live in a place that's inspiring and colourful
7. ENJOY WHAT YOU DO
8. LIVE A LIFE FULL OF PASSION
9. ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE
10. Surround yourself with people who will build you up
11. Do things that make you feel great
12. Relax... don't take yourself too seriously
13. Be CHEERFUL, spread SMILES
14. Cultivate +ve emotions
15. Savour every moment
16. Keep life simple
17. Forgive and forget
18. Be at peace with yourself
19. Trust in life
20. Go where your heart leads you

Pick a few and act on it right now. After all, life waits for no one.

There is no wrong or right way...
It is the ONLY WAY!

Angpows are coming to town!

Counting down to 4 more days and its ANG POW season again!

These few days, the streets are jam packed with cars trying to get their way around for last minute Chinese New Year shopping and getting ready to welcome in the year of the roaring Tiger. Everywhere is busy as the festival is getting nearer.

Hmmm, then why don't I feel the excitement myself?

This year, the celebration is seen as more simplified as we’re buying less and decorating less. I didn’t even buy any new red CNY clothes! However, we are going to be celebrating it in 2 new homes and a new member to our family. My grandmother and aunt have just shifted to their new home in Cheras and that is where I will be on the eve of CNY for the reunion dinner…

I am also thinking of more ways to decorate my new home with CNY ornaments and some splash of red. Maybe I should try to find Muffin a new red CNY T-shirt!

Of course, AngPow season will lose their purpose if there are no Angpows to be collected. Although there are heaps of comments on when will be the year I give instead of receiving. Well, I am definitely not complaining on the receiving part!

Why want to spoil the fun of receiving wealth?

Anyway, one of these days my turn will definitely roll in… maybe one day soon? So, I will definitely enjoy my days of receiving the red packets!

I wonder if Muffin will look handsome in a red CNY baju?

The Heart Sutra

Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion,
meditating deeply on Perfection of Wisdom,
saw clearly that the five aspects of human existence are empty*,
and so released himself from suffering.

Answering the monk Sariputra, he said this:
Body is nothing more than emptiness, emptiness is nothing more than body.
The body is exactly empty, and emptiness is exactly body.
The other four aspects of human existence -- feeling, thought, will, and consciousness --
are likewise nothing more than emptiness, and emptiness nothing more than they.

All things are empty: Nothing is born, nothing dies, nothing is pure, nothing is stained, nothing increases and nothing decreases. So, in emptiness, there is no body, no feeling, no thought, no will, no consciousness. There are no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind.

There is no seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, no imagining. There is nothing seen, nor heard, nor smelled, nor tasted, nor touched, nor imagined.

There is no ignorance, and no end to ignorance. There is no old age and death, and no end to old age and death. There is no suffering, no cause of suffering, no end to suffering, no path to follow.

There is no attainment of wisdom, and no wisdom to attain.

The Bodhisattvas rely on the Perfection of Wisdom, and so with no delusions, they feel no fear, and have Nirvana here and now.

All the Buddhas, past, present, and future, rely on the Perfection of Wisdom, and live in full enlightenment.

The Perfection of Wisdom is the greatest mantra. It is the clearest mantra, the highest mantra, the mantra that removes all suffering.

This is truth that cannot be doubted.

Say it so: Gaté, gaté, paragaté, parasamgaté. Bodhi! Svaha!

Depression symptoms

Last night I have decided to let go of all anger in life... I hope... it is certainly challenging to release every single anger in life and start afresh. Anyhow, I am in desperate condition to change my approach to life as last night an alarm bell rang when I ticked "yes" to 15 out of 18 symptoms of the depression list.

Funny how my life turned out when my only wish in life is to be happy.

After reading that list, I meditated for about 20 minutes and realized that all those accumulated anger is making me miserable. However, I have been trying to suppress those anger by appearing cheerful and easy-going. The anger is then left undissolved and accumulated over the years waiting to explode sometime in the near future. I am already near exploding... no point waiting to find out when it will explode.

Today, while I was stuck in heavy traffic, I observed people driving recklessly and furiously. Again, I realized that these people are suffering from accumulated anger suppressed painfully in their inner soul... waiting for the explosion.

So... consider myself lucky to realize this sooner than later. At least then I can find ways to deal with them rather than wait blindly for the explosion. The first step I am going to take will be to look at all circumstances in a different perspective and stay away from overly judging the consequences. In more simple words, I will use my compassion instead.

Spread love instead... never wait for others to give you the love you need...
Start with yourself