Thursday, October 1, 2009

Figuring the grey

I figured why I am feeling so ‘grey’ lately. But before I dwell on that, let me express my gratitude for having wonderful and great people in my life. Firstly, my dear BF was very concerned after reading the previous blog entry. He thought he was unable to provide me with happiness. This of course is so untrue! He is the pillar to my everyday happiness. Secondly, my dear Joanne reminded me of my colourful life. A life so wonderful; that I have forgotten in the past 2 days because of some minor troubles. I really have to get back to my gratitude diary!

Now, coming back to the ‘grey’ concern, this of course has everything to do with worries for the future. As today is the first day of a new month, time for bills payment again. Every month, money is going out as fast as water rushing down a waterfall which left me merely surviving for the rest of the month. The expectation and standard of living in the city is so costly these days that I keep thinking where and how I can get more money to survive.

It is certainly not easy.

But then again, if I focus too much on things that is out of my control and resulting in hurting myself and the people I love… then it’s a waste of time and energy. No doubt the worries will not be gone just like that. I can only minimize the focus and allocate my attention to more important stuffs; like important people in my life.

Adding on to the above, my trouble seems so ‘peanut’ comparing to what is happening to world right now. People are losing homes and families because of the recent earthquakes. Reading the news again today makes me feel so sad for them. Almost every year or alternate years the earth is experiencing such ‘drama’ from nature. People are fighting for their lives and the life of loved ones. Even if lives are saved, the after-trauma is not something to be taken lightly.

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